Curiosity Is a Practice, Not a Trait

We often speak of curiosity as a personality trait — some people have it, others do not. But after many tables, we have come to see it differently. Curiosity is a practice. It is something you do with your attention, again and again, until it becomes a way of being with people.

The practice is simple, and not easy. You ask a question you do not know the answer to. You stay with the answer longer than is comfortable. You resist the story you were about to tell about yourself, and you follow the other person instead.

At our gatherings, we have watched quiet people become the most curious people in the room — because curiosity is loud nowhere except in its effects. It leaves people feeling seen.

Curiosity is key. Not the key to information, but the key to each other.

Some conversations change everything. This was one of ours.